


Embracing the Future

by JOBrien42, kcat1971



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s07e06 The Al Smith Dinner, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21727984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JOBrien42/pseuds/JOBrien42, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcat1971/pseuds/kcat1971
Summary: What could have been... in the six weeks since the disastrous interview in "The Ticket", Donna Moss has time to reflect on just what Josh meant when he missed her every day, leading to a much different moment in "The Al Smith Dinner"
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 17
Kudos: 84





	Embracing the Future

“ _And if you think I don’t miss you every day…_ ”

She still isn’t sure how she didn’t see it then.

It was perfectly obvious once she had some clarification. She’d talked with C.J. and Will, and they’d agreed that it would’ve been impossible for Josh to give her a position of any prominence in the Santos campaign when she’d been trying her hardest to convince the country he was the wrong choice four days earlier.

He hadn’t turned her down out of spite or to get back at her for leaving him; at least, that wasn’t his only reason. When she replayed the conversation in her head, she could see that the interview had been as hard for him as it had been for her. The way he’d said her name, pleading, telling her that he couldn’t do this.

Even when he pointed out that he’d won, she had a clear memory of the hurt in his eyes.

And then he told her - _told her_ \- that he missed her every day.

At the time all she could think about was being rejected. By him. It was unexpected. She wasn’t sure why, but she’d always assumed that she’d be able to go back, that he’d always find a place for her. And while his rejection stung, she’d also resented herself. That part of her that saw him as a safe harbor. That had gone back to him in spite of knowing that she could manage on her own. And that resentment had quickly morphed into anger at him. It pissed her off that he DID offer to reach out to his contacts. To find something for her, as if she couldn’t get something on her own merits. By the time she’d walked out the door, she was determined to prove him wrong.

And she’d showed him. Not just any job. No, she’d gone out and got a job with the Santos/McGarry Wisconsin State Headquarters on the strength of her resume, without any mention of Josh or her previous connection to him, and then proceeded to do so well that Louise Thornton hand picked her for today’s statement blasting that abominable 527 ad.

Now, she sat in the bedroom of a hotel war room, wondering if she was really ready for this. Not the job itself, that she knew she could handle, but to be… working… with him again. It had been six weeks since that day in his office. Six weeks since she’d seen him or spoken to him. The longest since she’d met him. Even when they were on rival campaigns, there had been events, debates, hotel stops. They hadn’t gone this long without talking, _without seeing each other_ , since she’d left the first Bartlet campaign in a short-lived misguided attempt to revive a doomed relationship.

Was that what she was doing here? Was she only here to attempt to salvage her friendship with Josh? Was that even possible after the way she’d walked out on him last December?

No. She was here first and foremost because she wanted to get Matthew Santos elected to the Presidency of the United States. She was a political operative now, and this was where the important work was being done. It was the natural next step to her career. She could have gone to work on a Senate campaign, or even back to the White House where they were desperately short-staffed, but she knew this was the place for her.

And, ultimately, she knew that she was here because of him, not because of some desperate need to revive something between them, but because she believed in him, and his vision for the country. He was right about Russell. He went and got Matt Santos to run, got him past insurmountable odds to win the nomination. He’d given the Democratic party their best shot at retaining the White House.

And she was here to help him do it.

Now if only she could convince him of that.

\- - - - -

Donna. His chest lurched just thinking her name.

He didn’t have time for this. That stupid ad, the failure of debate negotiations, still nine points down.

He explained to Lou why it was a bad idea to bring her aboard. Did the woman not realize that this was Bruno Gianelli running Vinick’s campaign, and what he could do with Donna front and center? Sure, Donna had been fantastic at the press conference, tearing apart the ridiculous claims in that 527 ad, while casting doubt on just what Senator Vinick stood for. The thing was, Bruno was going to have some Fox reporter - or some other Republican aligned media - start poking holes in her credibility by pulling out all the inconsistent statements she’d made regarding her own candidate.

And if Bruno remembered what Donna meant to him, it would only be worse. Could he really stand by and watch her get pummeled by the media? Would Bruno have his agents bring up all the nasty rumors that ran around Washington back when she was his? His assistant, he mentally corrected himself.

He was confident he’d made the correct political decision back in July during that excruciating interview. Coming off the Convention, there was no job of any visibility - or anything at all worthy of her talents - that he could give her after her brutal attacks on the Congressman. He’d been right not to hire her.

But now that she’d appeared on camera for Santos, the “bad quotes” rationale had definitely reached its expiration date. What’s done was done. If Bruno wanted to use her past statements against them, there was nothing they could do about it. So Josh had to face the fact that the only thing that could keep her from working on this campaign was him. It had almost killed him to watch her walk out of his life for the third time, but he’d done it for the good of the campaign. But how much sacrifice could he be expected to make?

He didn’t know if he could work with her again. Could he harden his heart against her, so when she left for a _fourth_ time, it didn’t devastate him completely? Or would he slip up, forget himself, and leave himself open for another “I meant Will” moment where she ground his heart beneath her heel?

But the truth was he still missed her. Every day. He’d tried to fill that ache with endless work and constant caffeination, but the void in his heart where Donna Moss belonged remained. He wanted her there with him, challenging him, inspiring him, making him want to be a better person. He needed someone who could call him on his crap and yet still unquestionably be in his corner. Lou could do the former, but he no longer had anyone he could count on to be there for him when he fell.

Lou arrived and she took him by the hand. She told him where they were going, prompting him to make a stupid joke, but the woman just ignored him, dragging him along.

\- - - - -

Donna had heard some gossip around the office. That the campaign manager had thrown a little nutty when he’d seen her press conference. How immediately after it, he’d been seen spouting off that he was going to fire Otto, fire Lou. Of course, he hadn’t actually done it. But hearing about his reaction made her realize that Lou had brought her in without his buy in, and that didn’t bode well for this meeting at all.

As she waited, she prepared herself for battle. She was resolved. They would finally have it out. She was done feeling like she was substandard, unworthy of what she’d achieved. If he thought her “I meant Will” comment was harsh, wait until he saw what she was ready with today.

But then, as she tried to think of flaming accusations of his wrong-doing, she couldn’t come up with anything more than a comment about burnt hamburgers, and she caught herself wondering why she wanted to pick a fight with him in any case. She reached for the anger and the pain she’d felt when she’d left before Christmas, only to find it had melted away long ago. She tried to summon motivation from the humiliation of that damn interview six weeks ago, but now she could see how much it had hurt him as well, and how much it had cost him to confess that he missed her.

So she tried to go back farther. To the primaries. But she found herself thinking about the look of loss in his eyes when they’d been in New Hampshire, and his quiet statement, “You should be with me.” And then she thought about the nominating convention, and a conversation where he’d treated her as his equal, and his acknowledgement of her talent with a question, “How’d you get so good at this?” And then how he celebrated HIS win by bringing her and Will beer and watching the Santos-McGarry ticket be introduced, and how he didn’t Lord it over them or rub it in. How there’d been no evidence of the Josh Lyman ego everyone claimed was beyond the pale.

Finally, she remembered the worst days of her life. Standing in a hospital, ears buzzing as she struggled to understand what Toby meant as he’d said “Josh was hit.” Then lying in an operating room, staring into his scared brown eyes as he’d gently asked: “Did they tell you what they’re gonna do?” She hadn’t been able to say what she’d really wanted to, but she’d told him that she was scared, and she remembered how much she wanted to believe him when he said it would be a snap. She remembered what it meant to her that he hadn’t stopped for red lights in getting to her and that he’d still been there when she woke up.

Then an avalanche of all the little moments where he’d showed her what he thought about her flooded her mind. The inscription in _The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing_. The memo to the President about Molly Morello. The way he’d looked when he asked if she was okay after she learned about President Bartlet’s MS. A brisk fall evening on a park bench where he’d broken the law to shield her from a perjury charge and snowy January evening where he’d thrown snowballs at her window and told her that her career was important and that she looked amazing. Offering to cover her rent during the government shutdown. The list went on.

By the time she heard voices approaching she discovered that there was no anger left. She listened as he covered his discomfort in sad innuendo. He said hi when he saw her and she said it back.

“I don't know what the problem is between you two, but she's great on television and I don't care if she worked for Francisco Franco in the primary, right now it's all hands on deck. So work it out.”

Lou walked off, and Donna watched him standing there. His posture indicated that he was geared for a fight, but his eyes showed only fear, and he looked down at the folder Lou just gave him to hide his expression.

He started to say something, but she shushed him. She walked right past him to the door, her posture erect and proud, and she pushed it closed with an audible click.

“Donna-” His eyes were guarded, and she saw him rifling through his mind for another terrible, inappropriate joke.

“Hush,” she said, and she approached him. He raised his hands in protest, but she slipped inside them before he could stop her, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning against him. He didn’t respond, his arms remaining extended and his body rigid.

When a half minute had passed and she hadn’t let go, Josh finally spoke. “Donna, what are you doing?”

“I’m hugging you, silly,” she said, barely a whisper in his ear, continuing to hold him. “I thought that was obvious.”

A full minute had passed before she felt his arms around her, causing her to smile and pull him even closer to her.

“This, um, this is nice and all, but the campaign…”

“Shh,” she breathed. “This is important.”

Two minutes in and Josh finally gave in fully to her embrace. His head leaned in and nestled in the crook of her neck, and there was a shudder that passed through his whole body as the tension drained away. Forgotten, the folder Lou had handed him fell to the floor, the papers scattering on the rug. They began to sway a little, standing in the dim light of the bedside lamp. Tears began to prickle at her eyes, and she gave one final squeeze before pulling back to look at him.

“Okay,” he said, trying to find his voice. “Did you want to tell me what that was about now?”

“I’ve been doing some reading,” she replied, “and there are studies that suggest that hugs can help boost your immune system, are great for your heart, and can help reduce stress. I’ve seen you on TV, and I thought you could, you know, use that sort of thing.”

“So you’re just looking out for my health,” he said, the slightest tone of disappointment in his voice. She felt the muscles in his shoulders start to stiffen and his arms move to push her away.

“Oh, Joshua.” She sighed. She reached for all her courage, locked her eyes with his, and slid her hands up to gently cup his face. “Yes, Your health is important to me. Because you are important to me..”

Then, she leaned in and kissed him, tenderly, on the lips.

“I missed you too,” she said, pulling back once again to gaze in his eyes, trying to tell him without words that she was done fighting with him. That she wanted to get back what they’d had before, and even more. She held his gaze until she saw the confusion in his replaced by tenderness and a small smirk form on his mouth.

Then she stepped back and gave him her best sass.

“Now, was there something you wanted to discuss?”

Josh continued to stare. “I was… maybe… I was thinking we could continue this discussion?”

She smiled, and he took that as a positive sign. He stepped into her, and put his arms around her. He pressed his lips to hers, tentative at first, questioning. She answered by deepening the kiss, her hands snaking up to tangle in his hair.

It was a few minutes later when the door opened again.

“I hope you two are getting along like peas in a…” Lou said as she burst in. Seeing them holding one another, she smirked. “Okay, wasn’t expecting that. I guess that’s one way of working it out. Well, kids, you can make out like high schoolers later, but right now we’ve got work to do.”

There was a little awkwardness as they disentangled themselves, but they were both smiling in spite of the embarrassment. A moment later, they were both all business, trying to plot a strategy to spin the potential endorsement of the Women’s Alliance for Choice for Arnie Vinick.

Josh did manage to catch Donna alone in the hall. “I’m sorry we got interrupted. I don’t think I was fully able to state my case.”

“Your arguments were pretty persuasive,” Donna replied, “but if you have further evidence, I could be persuaded to continue the discussion over dinner.”

“I… yeah, I’d like that,” he stammered, “maybe we could…”

“Come to my room tonight,” she said. “We could order room service, I could steal some fries, and we could… discuss things further.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was a silly little image in my head and thanks to kcat1971 for working with me to bring it to life


End file.
